The Corgi's Yip

What's This?!

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:33:36 GMT

Nothing really new here, except work has been trying to kill me! Been getting a lot of hours in. The money is good, but working almost all week every week.....*sigh*
Music wise....haven't really worked on much. Been playing my violin and learned a part from Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails.

My grandpa passed away friday at midnight. Didn't get to go to his funeral, but was told it was a really nice service.

Bought the new HIM cd...really good. Obsessed with "Katherine Wheel"
The Vitamin String Quartet is amazing. If you never heard of them...I strongly suggest you check them out. The do violin/cello covers of everything from Weezer to Pink Floyd to Slayer.

So, anyway....I have really been thinking about how far I've come in my life in the 23 years I've been on this planet. I overcame drug abuse, near alcoholism, abuse, found the love of my life, got married, got a really good job and actually felt alive. If it weren't for Steve coming into my life at the exact moment he did....I may not have been here sitting on my ass typing this and watching him play the new Star Ocean game. :P I owe a LOT to him. He "saved" me, made me a better, stronger person than I ever imagined myself being. He let me know, I am not the useless, ugly, low-life that I always saw myself as. I know this sounds mushy and all lovey, so if this is about to make you puke everything you ate within the past few hours, I suggest you stop reading now. lol. We have our arguments like any other couple (well, not as bad as some) but I wouldn't change the petty arguments, the make-ups,the sad times, the good times and all the love for the world! He can be a royal dick and I can be an uber bitch, but that's what makes us who we are. He is the reason I'm still here. the hope and light in the darkness. I love him more than anything and if some dirty skank thinks she's gonna try and steal him from me...I'll dive on her like a rabid monkey hocked up on speed, poke her eyes out, force feed them to her, rip her arm off and beat her with the bloody end. Then tell her she's a whore and let a pidgeon poop on her face. (real mature, I know. :p)

so in conclusion, here is a list of things you should check out, courtesy of yours truly:

The Zombie Survival Guide
H.P Lovecraft books
Icanhascheeseburger
The Vitamin String Quartet
Vampire Wars (on facebook)
Ghost Of Lenore (steve and my band www.myspace.com/ghostoflenore)
http://www.asian-horror-movies.com/

New Things and stuffy stuff

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:28:18 GMT

Well, I started work at Target last monday. i work every other day (mon, wed, fri) from 4:30am until 8am (or later if they need me to stay) I like the job. Tiring and hectic, but fun.
The wedding this past Halloween was beautiful. Turned out really nice.
I recently decided to see what all the rage was about with Lady GaGa and checked out her music......I am OBSESSED with her song Bad Romance. Great beat.
Twilight New Moon came out today. *throws up violently* I was unlucky enough to have to stock Twilight bullshit.

What I think of Twilight
1. Edward looks like a horses shriveled scrotum
2. The fangirls are effing insane and should be shot or locked away
3. The books are poorly written
4. The Cullens are NOT vegetarians. They have to bite animals, therefor they are tasting meat and have meat in their mouths *cough* (edward likes the meat in his mouth *wink wink*) BLOOD IS NOT A VEGETABLE
5. wtf is wrong with Bella?! the effer is watching her when she sleeps from outside her window, he is controlling, bossy and abusive
6. the characters are so 1 dimensional and lame
7. most the lines contradict themselves and anyone with a fraction of a brain would have noticed that
8. the books give unrealistic expectations of the "perfect" boyfriend. Now all the really nice guys out there who are "plain" arent going to have a chance because you crazy whores are looking for a faggoty Edward or tard tard Jacob look alike (i have nothing against gays but "faggoty" was the only word I could think of)
Im sure most of you rabid twilight fans will give me hell about this, but oh well, thats my opinion, I know shitty literature abortions when I see them. You want a great series to read that doesnt blow? Read Laurell K Hamilton's Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novels. they are expertly written, the characters have depth and development. L.K.H is an AUTHOR and deserves that title...not Stephanie "I put no effort into actually making a series that doesnt blow" Meyers.

That is just my thoughts, love it if you want, just dont bitch at me for my views on it.
Thank You

Officially Mrs. Frost! ~NYU!

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:28:24 GMT

Current mood: happy Saturday turned out awesome as hell! The wedding was beautiful, the reception fun....then the wedding night...oh yeaaahhhhhh! *wink wink nudge nudge* My dad and stepmom got me and Steve a nice room with a jacuzzi tub as a wedding gift at the hotel they were staying at. (also where we had the wedding) The staff there was so accommodating and nice.
I want to thank Rev. J.P. for doing the officiating for us.
Thank "mom" and everyone who helped put it together.
I'm still bummed my mom couldn't make it to the wedding, but, that's the past now. We plan on having a huge wedding a few years from now where everyone is invited.

During the ceremony, as Steve read his verse to me......I almost cried. TwT
I walked into the room from the lobby to Prelude by VNV Nation. I was so damn nervous, I couldn't sit still and had my heart racing. Walking down the aisle, I couldn't stop grinning like the damn cheshire cat!

It seemed so surreal. I had to ask Steve if I was dreaming. Still getting used to being married. lol
My dad had some "words od advice" for Steve. Told him to not let me loose the "new wife smell" *face palms* Apparently, my new wife smell is blueberries. (I smelled like the damn things all day and didnt have any or anything that smelled like them. o_0)

All in all, everything went great and I really do appreciate all the help and effort everyone put into making our kick ass day possible!

LOVE YOU STEVE!!!!!! ~nyu!

Music and a Wedding ~Nyu!

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 23:18:54 GMT

Saturday is the big day!!!!!!! ~NYU!
Got the license, getting the rings, got the place now just waiting to hear back from the officiant.

I'm so nervous and uber excited !!!!! *dives into tail*
Dad and step sis are taking plenty of pics so when I get those, i will post them up so everyone can see the chaos that was my big day!

~NYU!!!! *faints*

17 Days and Counting! @_@

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 07:55:20 GMT

Well folks! 17 days until my wedding day! So much stuff to do and so little time!!!!! *scurries around, tripping over tail trying to get stuff done*
Things started out slow and dreary with wedding planning, but luckily we got a few great breaks and now things are looking up!
I am one HAPPY corgi!

But wait! THERE'S MORE!

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 00:00:15 GMT

Yet another one of my update/rant things.
So the stress issue is still going. Still looking for a job. Damn the economy, making it hard for poor, non college going folks like myself and others to get a job. Not everyone who goes to college knows how to do a job right. just because someone didnt go to college or graduate high school, does NOT mean they are incompetent and cant do the job. *sigh* Even now it seems, that even people who went to college aren't able to get a job.
I also have two months left to get a job and money saved up. *jumps into a wood chipper* I'm trying not to lose hope, but things are starting to look bleak. One way or another, I WILL make this wedding happen. My parents are seeing what they can do to help. I'm not looking for an extravegant, expensive ceremony. i want something small, simple, but nice and memorable.
My dad is a photographer, so that part is taken care of, we have the officiant. (hard as hell to find a non christian one). Now to get the place to have it, food, the outfits, the rings, the stuff to make the invitations (doing those by hand), stamps envelopes. too much stuff to get done.
Luckily if all goes well and the wedding is on this october......there wont be that many people to worry about. i might have about five people total show up for my side of the family. Most wont come and make up excuses because it is a non-traditional and non christian ceremony. too bad. it's mine and Steve's day, not theirs. If anyone shows up and starts bitching about it....I WILL go super ninja bitch bride on them. ROFL.

As for music.......meh....got two songs in the works right now. more happy techno.....need some darker songs as well.
Art----Nothing new yet, haven't been in the drawing or editing mood.

An Update, a Rant and Anger

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:53:35 GMT

Haven't made a post in a while, so figured I would. lets see.....not much new other than, got two demo vocal tracks nearly completed for the band. microphone still sucks horrendously, but it is all we got to work with right now.
Still no job. *face plants desk* I keep getting the same damn "we're sorry but all positions are filled" crap or the "we're not going to get back to you although you wasted your time filling out our application" crap.

Another issue that has me "irked" to all hell, is Palin, Salazar, and the retarded Idaho governor. It wasn't enough that that dumb bitch Palin ordered an aerial massacre of wolves and other wildlife in Alaska, but come to find out, when the fucktarded Bush/Cheney administration lifted the ban on slaughtering endangered wolves, the Yellow Stone Wildlife resident wolf, Limpy, was released then shot on sight. now the idaho governor is getting in on the action. How in the FUCK can you people allow this?! Do something!!!! Defenders of Wildlife foundation need a million signatures to be able to do something. Get everyone together and sign petitions banishing this cruelty!!!! People like those assholes have no right to live! How would someone like it if someone flew by in a plane or helicoptor, or hell, even walked by and put a bullet in their beloved pets head? It would devestate them! (or maybe not because they obviously care not for animals) I'm just sick of not being able to do much for the animals who are in danger of being slaughtered by these monsters who dare call themselves "people who care" *punches hole through the wall*

Anyway, before i get too pissy. *takes deep breath*

Started working on some more drawings and photo edits.
Might start a shop on Cafe' Press to get some cash or sell copies of my art.

i need a job!!! *whimpers, ears and tail down*

Something for nothing

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:59:38 GMT

So here I am...again, posting out of boredom......Well, this Friday, the mate and I are not buying cigarettes anymore. This will be the 6th time I've tried to quit, hopefully it works this time.

My mom just got out of the hospital a few days ago. She had to have two units of blood, because she woke up and felt something trickling down her face......looked down and her pillow was soaked in blood from her nose. She keeps having this strange bleeding and no doctor can find anything wrong. I hope someone finds out what the hell is going on with her. >__<

In entertainment news, watched a film from Sweden last night called, "Let the Right One In" beautiful story about a bullied 12 year old boy who makes friends with a strange girl. Not going to spoil the movie by telling you about it. Watch for yourself....It's a great movie. I love the subtlety of it as a "horror" film.

Still no job yet. T_T

Hot Topic is slowly filling with rap T_T (read my mate's (FlameWulf) post about it.

I'm bored.

Soon will be recording vocals for a song for the band.

That is all.

Job Search...Day.....I have no clue. XD

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:37:39 GMT

So yeah......Still looking for a job, no one seems to be hiring, i'm going out of my corgi mind, about to drop kick some stupid neighborhood kids. *takes deep breath*

Ok. now that i'm calm.

The band thing is still going. slow, but going. We got some songs in progress, now if only I could come up with some lyrics and incorporate them in the music. WOOOOOOO! I really should try and finish some songs I started.

Need to find a nice neighboorhood away from these ghetto wannabe tards and move there.

I also noticed some people complaining about how hard their lives are right now......Yeeaaahhhh, sitting around not having to deal with any responsibilities and having money to burn must be so hard. try not having a job because no one will hire, not having any money and being stressed out to all hell, then you can bitch moan and groan about how hard life is.

Had to put that in there.

As for the wedding......i'm still trying to get things together. Three months to get a job, save money, get all the materials and things i need, and get this wedding rolling. I know, once i get the funds, i can make it happen. I can make something out of nothing, so almost everything is going to be hand made by me, it's cheaper and done the way we want it done. just pray to whatever deity that I get the cash. X__x

Well, that's all I guess.

I LOVE YOU STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

No One Really Reads these things Anyway

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:40:36 GMT

So, since the last time i posted, some new stuff happened. My mom drove from Texas to come visit me and my mate. The visit was a blast!
I've dyed my hair black again.....haven't had it that dark for some time
Working on music for the band page and my upcoming page if that's the direction I choose
Still no job.......but not giving up!
RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) blows to no end! I'm losing sleep because it feels like a million tiny bugs crawling on my shin bone under my skin and trying to burrow into the bone.
In happier news.......I went from about 125lbs down to 108lbs while I've been here. I am finally happy about my weight. Now to do a couple hundred squats and leg lifts as well as jogging to get my butt toned.......just got to be careful, as much junk as i got back there....I might end up with a J-Lo booty. XD don't want that....lol...TOO MUCH BACK! TOO MUCH BACK!!!!!! XD

Along with the music thing.....I have become almost, one could say...obsessed with these songs (i suggest you check them out, they are good):

E Nomine----Mala
Johnny Hollow----Boogeyman, Aegis, Dark Thing (Obsession Remix), Tremor,
London After Midnight----- Pure, Love You to Death
Amethystium----Odyssey
Girl Next Door----Gorgeous
Gothminister----Happy in Darkness, Monsters, Freak, Angel, Darkside
Renard---Recede, Never Fade, Queen Of Sorrow, Sweet Moonlight, Scrape the Heavens II: My Sky
sno.lukav-----The Last Horror to Walk The Earth (feat. Renard), Mnemonic
MGD---Dreams
Special D.----You
Darren Styles--Save Me
VNV Nation----Prelude, As it Fades

So yeah, That's quite a list *falls to floor and rolls around the room in a fuzzy ball*
Oh and my furry art is gettin a little better.
I also realize i have been quite a...shall I say..."bitch" in some of my status comments, but thats because people suck. Admit it.....there is at least two people everyday that you would like to knock their teeth down their throat. XD I mean, what possesses someone to be a raging twat to someone they don't even know? And to make fun of them and their art? (yes it did happen to me, the prick is just immature and probably lives such a pathetic existance that he has to make fun of others to feel better about himself)

One last thing, a "friend" decided to disappear. Don't know what or even if we did anything to piss her off. She just vanished without a trace. Can't get a hold to her. Wish she'd at least tell us what the hell is up. *sigh*

That is all.

Lazy...I know

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 23:27:55 GMT

So, I know I have been lazy and haven't posted here in a while.....so here is my post!
I have been kinda stressed, due to applying at:
Target (5 times)
Kroger (3 times)
Wal Mart (2 times)
Walgreens
Family Dollar
Subway
and even a staffing agency

no one has gotten back to me yet. I know why....it's because they are too picky and can have the best of the best, which leaves me and about a hundred other great workers here unable to get a job. *face plants desk with a heavy sigh*
If I didn't have my amazing mate with me, I'd have given up already. Also got the stress of not having any money (after bills and such) to get things for the wedding. (which may not be able to happen this year now. I really don't want to push it forward a second time)

Other than that, my mother is moving up here, so that's a plus.
I have more photo edits up
I'm slowly coming up with some songs for the band

I have also been trying to think of a nice change for my look. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my "dark hippie" look, I just feel like something is missing. Might get bangs or something. Dying my hair black with blonde streaks (my mate's idea)

that is all

Today was a day to....scream

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 00:35:45 GMT

Today was alright to begin with then went to hell......
I was taking pics in the woods with my mate and forgot to put the damn memory card in the camera so I can't get the good pics off the camera until I find the cord. Then my wallet went missing somewhere in the room and I've been looking for about two hours before I gave up. I have to find it by tomorrow.
Wednesday I have to go to Ghanna and finish my application assessment and possibly get a job.
I got some pretty pics up.
you can see them here: http://the-retarded-corgi.deviantart.com/
other than that....everything has been rather...boring.
I'm still half ass planning my wedding, but to no avail. Hard to do with no money. *sigh* After I get my job, I'm putting back half my pay so I can get everything I need for the wedding. It WILL happen this year!

well im off to continue the Great Wallet Search of '09.
wish me luck!

Vicarious living? I Think Not!

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 18:56:18 GMT

So yeah, I'm still on the great job hunt. 8 applications out and not a word from any of the places yet. I just hope someone calls me in for an interview and a job. That would be lovely. So instead, I have been sitting around doing nothing but my chores and thinking. My book is on hold until I get more paper, my art is on hold until I get more ideas, still need to get that computer tablet. *sigh*
Music wise, with the new program we got, I can actually record vocals now that you can hear. Made one song already, it's short and an instrumental. Need to get the time to actually make a real song with vocals. I hope to get those songs up soon.
Along with music, I've been reunited with Project Pitchfork's song The Longing. That song gives me the chills.
I have been so stressed out about my mate getting screwed over by his job and me having hell finding one. I hate seeing my mate down and pissed because his boss is a twat.
Anyway, I will cut this short.

HERE'S HOW IT GOES

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:37:02 GMT

So anyway, here goes.......
I have been job searching and applying everywhere for a job....just to have them contact me and let me know I have been denied. What the hell are these employers looking for exactly? Is it so hard to stock shelves, alphabetize and categorize movies, help customers? Do you really need a fucking college experience to do these simple jobs? NO. Yet that's what everyone is looking for now. Pretty soon, having a high school diploma will be about as good as not having one. People suck. I'm applying everywhere AGAIN and this time we will see if I get hired.
The mate and I got an appointment to get our cat Poe fixed. Hopefully he will quit his spraying shit or cut it down a lot after the neutering.
Even though it is seven months away, I have been trying to get things sorted out for the wedding. I am making it happen this year no matter what. If I don't get hired within the next couple months, I'm going to the clinic and donating plasma. It's painful and doesn't pay that much, but it is still something. I'm at a loss here.
But other than all the hell breaking loose in my mind, I have more photo edits and drawings being done. woot!

PLEASE SIGN THIS PETITION AND SEND THAT ANIMAL ABUSER TO JAIL!

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 03:30:08 GMT

When I heard about that little fucker who posted a video on YouTube of him abusing his pet cat.......I wanted to slit his throat. Things like him need to be locked away! Please sign the petition at this link http://petitionspot.com/petitions/justicetodusty and send it to everyone you know. Please help poor Dusty (the cat) he did not deserve this. The asshole who hurt him is in the custody of his parents while Dusty is staying with the vet. Help put that little bastard where he belongs and not give him a chance to get away with a simple slap on the wrist. Who's to say he wont hurt another animal this way? Both him and his brother (who recorded the incident) will get what is coming to them...karma is a bitch.

Thank You
KiRi

meme stolen from my sexy mate

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 01:13:24 GMT

[1] Make a list of 5 things you can see:
noms
phone
squirt bottle
coffee
cat

[2] Would you ever get plastic surgery?
nope, dont need it

[3] What are 5 things you usually keep in your pocket/bag/wallet?
Cell phone
pen
hair tie
chap stick
ID

[4] What person in your life has made the biggest impact on you?
Steve

[5] What is your dream occupation? (It doesn't have to be realistic)
Musician, model, author, voice actress

[6] Would you rather lose an arm or have an incurable headache for the rest of your life?
the headache

[7] Who is the last person you hugged?
Steve

[8] What is your current obsession?
coffee!!!!!!!!!

[9] Whats the last text message you recieved?
steve telling me he loves me

[10] What sites do you always visit when you go online?
Myspace, Yahoo mail, LJ, Youtube, Furtopia, Vampire Freaks, Deviant art, lol cats

[11] Last thing you bought?
dont remember

[12] What random useless fact did you learn today?
some shelves are a hell of a lot heavier than they look X_x

[13] What do you usually drink in the morning?
Coffee

[14] What would you tell your 12 year old self if you could?
dont trust everyone

[15] If you could play any musical instrument what one would you play?
cello

[16] Do you have any siblings?
in laws

[17] Whats something you would like to say to someone right now?
I LOVE YOU STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[18] If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Japan, Ireland

[19] Whats your favorite kind of weather?
warm and sunny, or warm and stormy

[20] Whats the last show/gig/concert you went to?
The Cradle of Filth/Gwar concert last year that my sexy mate took me to

Just a Little Something

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:28:09 GMT

So here goes yet another "rant" I guess. Been stressed as all hell trying to get a job and making things better. I feel so bad for my mate. I just want things to go right for him for once, without him having to go through hell. I hate that saying "Good things come to those who wait" or "Good things happen to good people" those are utter bullshit. My mate is an amazing furson, and nothing good (other than me =n__n=) has happened to him. We have both applied ourselves and waited for a decent job......nothing. So I'm using all my energy to help him get a good job (he has more luck than me) and a good vehicle. It's hard to keep a positive mindset, but I keep telling myself "things will get better"
I want to drop kick employers in the damn eye because they all expect you to have a college degree or experience for that job. How the hell are you supposed to get experience at a job if no one does on site training?! and seriously people, just because someone has a high school diploma or some college, it DOES NOT BY ANY MEANS mean they are smarter than a person who doesn't or that they could do the job better. I actually know some people who have graduated high school and have some college education, who are dumber than a box of fucking rocks! I told my mate that when and if I ever get a job interview and they say they cant take me because I dont have some college, Im going to tell them "Oh I'm sorry I don't have a degree in binge drinking" *face palm and heavy sigh* It just sickens me that people won't hire a hard working person because they have no diploma or degree, but they will hire some bimbo because she was in college. I've had that happen. I got my high school diploma and applied for a job, said they weren't hiring, yet they hired 6 new people the next day because they were in college and looked "normal" It's rigoddamndiculous!
I'm just glad I have my loving mate to keep me sane and let me know that I'm not alone and can do things.

HERE WE GO!

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 04:15:53 GMT

Well....I got some pretty spiffy drawings done and a few photo edits. Today has been a good day for art for the corgi girl. n__n
Been listening to The Egg and I from Cowboy Bebop, which has helped me get into the creative mood and bust me out of my "down time" yay!!!! My sexy mate has got me hooked on Star Ocean anime. It's awesome!!!! Ashton Anchors is hilarious with his fascination....no...fetish for barrels. ahahahahahaa. *falls off of couch*
As for the music thing.....not a friggen clue what to do. >__<
Winter sucks, I'm done with it and wish it would warm the hell up already so I can wear my cute clothes again and stop this infernal shaking!!!!!!!! 0_o
Um.....oh yeah! Kroger never called me back like they were supposed to....So I really doubt I got the job....bastards.
that is all.

I LOVE YOU WOLFIE!!!!!!!!! *super ninja flying glomp*

Life Soundtrack

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 22:40:04 GMT

1. Put your iPod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the memo as well as the person you got the memo from.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Moonlight---Love You to Death (um...wtf?)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Mandrake--Everything Dies (um...sometimes i get in those kinds of moods)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
The Birthday Massacre--Lovers End (thats just messed up...I don't want to kill my mate)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Midori--Sora's Folktale (that works, been kind of out of it and dreamy today)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Nox Arcana--The Grande Hall (sweet...I'd love to live in an enormous gothic home)

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Graveworm--Graveyard of Angels (0_o)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Birthday Massacre--Blue (they think im a psycho? thats about right n_n)

8. WHAT DO THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Nox Arcana--Spellbound (i do think about the paranormal and magic things)

9. WHAT IS 2+2?
Arcana--Innocent Child (technically a child is 4 so this works)

10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Graveworm--Christian Woman (ahahahaha well she is a perv and psycho so I wouldnt doubt it)

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Pixie Tricks---Prayer (from Zelda Ocarina of Time) (lol...thats just awesome)

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Akira Yamaoka--Clockwork Little Happiness (whoa...my life is creepy and Silent Hill like)

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Silent Hill- Lost Carol (i want to be sad and live in Silent Hill? win!)

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Akira Yamaoka--Stairway to a Watery Abyss (messed up, but I do love that song)

15. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Masuda Toshio--Mushi (weird and cool...thats about right)

16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Nox Arcana--Snake Charmer (oh hells yeah!)

17. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Akira Yamaoka---Promise Reprise (perfect song for my end)

18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Blackmore's Night--Ghost of a Rose

19.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Akira Yamaoka--Nightmarish Waltz (im a psycho from Silent Hill...but dont tell)

20.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Nox Arcana--Phantom Procession (they are all dead!!!!)

21. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Gingersnaps Theme (I would get turned into a werewolf and have hair on my back...not such a bad thing becoming a werewolf)

22. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Valve--Track 17 from Half Life 2 (I will die by a head crab or zombie...how lovely)

23. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Midnight Syndicate--Vampire's Kiss (the senseless killings and blood lust...whats not to love? lol)

24.WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
James Newton Howard--Prologue (0_o)

25. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Nox Arcana--Veil of Darkness

26. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Rasputina--Deep in the Sweet Water (i take that as a no since the song is about someone drowning in the ocean. T_T)

27. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Mushishi Theme (I guess im scared of mushi do...just the ear mushi)

28. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Rasputina--The New Zero (woooooo werewolf..my mate only so ha!)

29. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Mushishi Bells (I'd not get attacked by the evil mushi)

30. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
The Birthday Massacre--To Die For (0_o im not losing my mate so XP)

31. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Wumpscut--Angel

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 02:19:43 GMT

My 22 birthday yesterday was great. Got a German chocolate cake and some really nice gifts.
So anyway, My wolfie went to work around 6:30pm and I have been sitting here bored. Worked on a drawing for a little bit then a little on my story. After I checked my messages and such, I suddenly got the urge to listen to sad music, why? I don't have a clue. I have just been sitting here thinking about how far i've come in life, how much things and I have changed and wondering what's next in my life for me. Will I ever get a book published? Will I ever get anywhere with music? Will I last when I get this job? Then a question popped in my head.....Is anyone ever Truly happy? I am happy with my wolfie, but with everything else.....I don't know. I have these almost severe mood changes now and then, I'm happy as ever, then I'm down and depressed (if that's what you can call it) A friend of mine (she will remain unnamed) was telling me about how she was reading a bunch of old posts that her boyfriend had on his page. She got to the ones that he wrote about his ex who at the time he was "in love" with. She read the comments they left eachother and said it felt as if her heart had sank a little. She went on to tell me that she knows that was the past, but it still "hurt" a little to read them. I told her she shouldn't have read them then. She said that because of how his ex hurt him, it hurt her in a way and she knows he will never be the same person he was back then because of the "damage" to his self esteem and ego his ex caused. (this sounds slightly familiar o_0) That got me thinking again.....When you are with someone you really care about, and they do something drastic and "hurt" you, you two break up, then something changes in you. After this happens over and over again, You slowly begin to loose who you once were and fear the worst in another relationship. As for me, I was cheated on, lied to, treated like shit, even smacked around. If you ask anyone who knew me, they would tell you I was a fun person to be around. I smiled all the time, laughed, lived life to its fullest. Then one failed relationship after another dragged me down and slowly began "killing" the person I once was. Even now, I get jealous, I hate myself now and then, I think the worst of everyone and everything in fear that they will hurt me (emotionally). I'm scared I'm not everything Steve says I am, due to past experiences. This has caused problems for us before. I would think he was lying to me or being "unfaithful" behind my back, but in reality, he would never do something like that. It's just that stupid fear from the past, rearing its mutilated face and noming on the back of my brain. I know that because of his past experiences, he too has that same fear that I will betray him like she did. Everyone has this problem, that has been through something like that. i love Steve with everything I am, there is nothing and no one in this world that could ever change that. And because I have someone who is loyal and honest and the love of my life, I will fight anyone who tries to take him from me. I don't care who it is, they might die by my hands. I don't care if he has friends who are girls, so long as they don't get too friendly with him. I know he worries about me having straight guy friends, because lets be honest, most guys and girls now, want to be more than friends with someone whether they are ina relationship or not. Me, I'm not a little whore like most girls, I'm a one man woman, and I have my man. So anyway, before I get too carried away (think its a little too late n__n) I will leave you with this......Don't ever let someone screw with your head so bad, you become the person you hate. When you get into a great relationship, never let the past in to fuck up things. I KNOW MY WOLF WILL READ THIS SO HERE'S TO HIM: I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND NOTHING AND NO ONE WILL EVER CHANGE THAT! otherwise they go through me and that means getting mauled to death.

Here I am

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 01:21:57 GMT

I finally calmed down after being so frustrated, thanks to my wonderful mate. I found a few more new songs I like to listen to :
Sia--Breathe Me
Porcelain and the Tramps---King of the World

We reformatted the computer so I lost Photo Shop. blagh. but we got Fruity Loops Studio 8 which is so much better than 7, so I started working on a song I get the feeling I wont finish for a while.

Then there is something else......After a "talk" the mate and I had the other night, I felt a heavy weight lift off my shoulders.
I woke up this morning and knew something had changed in me. I don't know what brought on this change, but I'm glad whatever it was, did. I don't hate myself anymore, I'm less paranoid and scared of the world, I looked in the mirror earlier today and realized I'm not this horrible, ugly, inadequate person I portrayed myself in my mind.

I'm glad I had this feeling wash over me.

ugh! WTH?!

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 21:04:06 GMT

BLAGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Im going crazy here! The mic sucks harder than a black hole, I've been trying to record some vocals, but they sound like crap! So much static and I pretty much have to scream into the damn mic. *strangles the mic* I'm still waiting to hear ANYTHING on that job, ive been trying to make music, but cant finish anything. Im Tired of posting on Furtopia and NO ONE leaving me a goddamn comment at all. God I want to strangle someone. I am so damn frustrated. I miss my friends, I miss hanging out. ....I just need to think positive (as hard as that is right now) *takes deep breath* Things WILL get better, just watch.
I started writing a new story, lets hope that gets finished. I need a damn friend of my own, im sick of acquaintances, I just one one person to be able to talk to and hang out with like my old friends in Trinity, but they all moved on with their lives. Yes Im venting and ranting, thats what I do. Anyone in my position would understand. So yeah, thats all the bitching Ive got for today. At least my birthday is in 9 days.

2008 what a waste

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 02:27:54 GMT

Where did you begin 2008?
   at the house, sitting around

What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Engaged bitches

Were you in school (anytime this year)?
nope nope

Did you have to go to the hospital?
nope

Did you have any encounters with the police?
during the accident, had to show my ID and they wanted to make sure I was alright

Where did you go on vacation?
   no where, I need a vacation

What did you purchase that was over $500?
not a damn thing

Did you know anybody who got married?
my cousin

Did you know anybody who passed away?
not in 2008

Did you move anywhere?
into Steves parents with him

What sporting events did you attend?
none

What concerts/shows did you go to?
Viva La Bands Tour got to see Gwar and Cradle of Filth woooo! (thank you love for taking me to my first kick ass concert!)

Where do you live now?
still in columbus with my love

Describe your birthday:
well, it all started when my mother was in the hospital screaming and pushing, the doctors had to cut me out of her because my heart stopped beating, then after a while I was fine and having a drink

What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2008?
   got engaged

What has/have been your favorite moment(s)?
    when Steve proposed to me, my first concert, then the rest sucked like a black hole

What's something you learned about yourself?
im not as haggard as I thought and Im a lot more intelligent and stronger than most people, and I have 8 out of 10 symptoms of bi polar disorder. woooo!

Any new additions to your family?
   my cousin had her baby

What was your best month?
January (my bday), February (got engaged)

What music will you remember 2008 by?
   Code 64, Moonlight's cover of Love You to Death

Who has been your best drinking buddy?
Steve, he is fun to drink with

Made new friends?
one

Favorite Night(s) out?
   when Steve took me out

Any regrets?
hmmmm, not having my drivers license, not having a job, losing contact with friends

What do you want to change in 2009?
i want to have a job, money and be able to go out and have fun

Overall, how would you rate this year?
3

What would you change about 2008?
i wouldnt have waited so long to apply places

Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
my own little world

Have any life changes in 2008?
had to move, again, had the accident

Change your hairstyle?
cut it short and dyed the back reddish colored and the front black

Get a new job?
nope

How old did you turn this year?
21

Did you have a New Year's resolution?
to stop hating myself so much

Did anything embarrassing?
nope

Buy anything new from eBay?
Nope

What was/were your favorite purchase(s)?
my now old phone

Get arrested?
nope

Did you get sick this year?
had a horrible cold

Start a new hobby?
nope

Been snowboarding?
not last year

Are you happy to see 2008 go?
yep yep, hopefully '09 will be better

Drank Starbucks in 2008?
just out of the bottle

Been naughty or nice?
both, but a lot more naughty *winks at Steve*

What are you wishing for in 2009?
things to finally go right and get better for once

I Cried Today

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 01:24:04 GMT

I cried today watching videos on YouTube of wolves and nature. It's sad to see what humanity is doing to this earth. Pretty soon there will only be pictures of wolves among other animals in books and children asking their parents "What are those? How come I never seen one?" With the whole Sarah Palin issue, it furthered my HATE on humanity. I know some of you will bitch at me for hating my own kind, but let me tell you something....humans ARE NOT my own kind. I dont classify myself with hate mongering, animal slaughtering, money hungry assholes. This world would be such a better place if there were more people that cared for animals and the future of said animals. Like in China, instead of killing the wolf that made its way to the great wall and scared some tourists, the authorities captured the creature and took it to the mountains to be safe. Farmers were allowed to kill wolves and coyotes for entering their property and killing a few livestock. Well let me tell you something, YOU are on THEIR land, they were there FIRST, not you. They have to eat too and if you took better watch of your damn livestock that wouldnt happen. Yes I am biter and mean towards humans, I have no sympathy for the majority of them. Why? Look around. They mow down forests and parks to put up new Wal-Marts and parking lots. Does the world really need another one? NO.
There was a report on a news billboard that read "Man dies in fire trying to save dog" That is ONE human I have respect for. I hope and pray nearly every day, that the earth and nature will take back whats hers. I want to see everything green and wild again, not grey and stagnant. Give it 10 more years and the rainforests are gone.

What Will She Do Next?

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 03:03:16 GMT

So yeah, I've been sitting here thinking....I think its time I stop putting it off and really start working on my music. The mic isnt so great, but I still have my beats, just got to work on them. The more I listen to Era Nocturna, the more I get inspired. Her music is beautiful, if you want to take a listen, go here: http://vampirefreaks.com/eranocturna
I have also been working on my art some more, my book is on hold until i get more paper (punches self for not buying some yesterday) I've been so stressed after Target and Kroger denied me, for being over staffed. Kick out the damn college kids who have money and hire someone who needs money, like me dammit!
But anyway, things have been alright, other than money being tight and still trying to find a job, oh and being stressed out. I really shouldnt get so stressed, Steve has more on his plate than I do, but when he gets stressed and bent out of shape, I do too.
Well, I guess I should start working on some edits or music, either or, whatever floats my monkey first. Would say tickle my fancy, but that just sou \nds so wrong. Only Steve can tickle my fancy. ahahahah
TA!